Diary of a Wimpy Kiter: The Selective Memory of Kiteboarders

Posted: August 15, 2012 by breemackite in Diary of a Wimpy Kiter, Shop Culture & Shenanigans
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If you missed my post last week, you may want to allow me to introduce myself.

Hopefully, you’re starting to get a small idea of who I am. I’m not exactly God’s gift to kiteboarding.

Now that we understand one another better, let me continue…

Flying a trainer kite was helping! I may have even gained some muscle mass….maybe. There are a few things that everyone “mysteriously forgets” to tell you when you start kiteboarding:

  1. The duration that sand will remain in your mouth after a good fall–FOR-EV-ERRRRR! I took a digger flying the HQ Hydra 300 in some higher winds and came up with a sandpaper smile that could have smoothed out an entire hardwood floor. I found sand in my teeth while chewing a piece of gum, three days later!  Of course, there’s nothing more attractive on a date than a girl with a sandpaper smile….
  2. The places that sand finds its way into–under your finger nails, in the hood of you jacket, in pockets and places you didn’t know you had–I’m not joking. When you can build a sand castle in the shower from the sheer amount of sand that you’ve rinsed off your hair, you’ll know what I’m talking about!
  3. How sore your forearms will be–maybe this is because I have the physical strength akin to a canary, but my arms were dead. You’re thinking I’m a touch dramatic? I drove my hour commute to the Board Sports Center via my knees, elbows, and cruise control. My arms were dead–like zombie style, fall-off-when-you-pick-up-your-coffee-cup dead.
  4. How many new friends you’ll make–seriously, I’ve spoke with enough random strangers in vans that my likelihood of getting kidnapped is through the roof, any day now…The sport is young and beach-goers and tourists are curious! Make sure that you’re prepared to explain kiteboarding!
  5. How twitchy you’ll get–did that leaf just move? Is that flag flapping? And for goodness sake’s, why doesn’t every surface of the earth have a webcam!?! Half of the apps on my phone are now wind/weather related.  I ditch friends, dates, and plans on a whim if the trees are moving. When the forecast calls for wind and it never happens, you’re left sitting on the beach, like you’re waiting for a date that never showed up.

Needless to say, I feel like I should have been briefed…I was off to kite camp, shipped up to the MACshack like a kid sent to summer camp; excited, nervous, and with a mouthful of braces sand.

Tune in this Friday to see how Day-1 of my Camp went! If your mind is thinking, “wet cat in the kitchen sink,” you’re on the right track!

  1. […] Diary of a Wimpy Kiter: The Selective Memory of Kiteboarders […]

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